Adventures in Aerobic Dating
by i-once-wrote-a-dream
Summary: He is here again. Doing bench presses, all red in the face and groaning softly with the exertion. Even can't even do anything about it. He's stuck behind the staff counter, willing away his third 'gym-rat' fueled boner this week.


Even is certain he's a good person. He isn't faultless, he knows that; he's broken a heart before, smokes a little too much, and drink a little too often. But he's not _bad._ He helps little old ladies cross streets, and gives whatever he has to people who need it. (He's become very close to a sweet old man named Julian, who prefers the way of the streets, and brings him dinner at least three times a week.) So it's only fair to think that he, quite frankly, doesn't deserve this torture. This pure, sweet torture. A sweat slicked chest and sweet faced kind of torture.

 _He_ is here again. Doing bench presses, all red in the face and groaning softly with the exertion. Even can't even do anything about it. He's stuck behind the staff counter, willing away his third 'gym-rat' fueled boner this week.

And, really, Even can't be blamed for his interest (or obsession, depending on who you ask). The boy, _man_ , his brain supplies, _that body is pure man,_ comes in every shift, and trains like _Rocky._ Shirtless. He's got this pretty, curved to lip, and Even swears, his heart beats three times harder when he smiles. (He has the cutest! Gaps! Between! His! Teeth!) He's not even Even's usual type, but he looks so badass with that buzz cut and biceps bigger than Even's thighs. Thighs! Even can't forget those thighs. They're beautifully sculpted, and he may or may not have fantasized about getting between them on more than one occasion.

And while he wants to say it's completely physical, it really isn't. He's watched when 'gym-rat' comes in with his friends, and Even knows he's the most perfect boy on the planet. He's got a wicked sense of humor that makes Even's stomach do funny things. His laugh is about a minute away from becoming Even's ringtone, alarm, everything. Point is, Even really, _really_ likes him.

"Bro, your shift ended 15 minutes ago," Even's brought out of his musing at the sound of Elias' voice. He looks around and 'Gym-rat' isn't anywhere to be seen. _Fuck._ He's never been this spacey before.

"Sorry, man. Just got a lot on my mind," Elias smiles easy and Even makes a mental note to go over to his place sometime soon. He hasn't seen him outside of work in over a month.

"Yeah, that 'a lot' came in shirtless again, didn't he?" Even tries not to grimace at Elias, and heads over to the staff room, pulling off his uniform as he walks. The sudden clatter of weights hitting the ground shouldn't make Even jump at this point, but it doesn't stop him from hitting the wall next to him. Or the less than manly shriek he let out.

"Are you ok?" Even wants to run and hide because of course he just did all of that in front of the most beautiful boy he's ever seen. Slowly, he pulls his head back through his t-shirt and braces himself for the proximity.

"Um, yeah. Thanks." He tries to give him his nicest customer service smile and hastens to bury himself in his bed for the rest of eternity.

"Even, right?" His voice cracks a little, in perfect time with Even's heart.

"That's me." He does his best to smile, swallowing his desire to be swallowed by the floor. "Even Bech Næsheim, at your service." Foot, meet mouth.

"Isak." He holds his hand out and Even stares at it for a second, before realizing it's probably not acceptable to stare at the details of a stranger's hand and grabs on to shake it. "Valtersen. Isak, uh, Valtersen."

The prospect of looking gym ra-no, Isak, up online gets him moving.

"My shift ended like fifteen minutes ago and I have to run, but I'll see you around, man." _I'll see you around man?_ Even is usually the smoothest motherfucker around, and this is not at all like him. No cute boy is ever going to get that Even wants to be under them if he goes around calling them _man._ He just friend-zoned himself. It's time Even officially accepts his title as a disgrace to the pansexual community.

.

Deadlifts are officially cancelled. Even doesn't need to see Isak bend over like that ever again. He's literally the man of Even's dreams in every way except that he isn't Even's. It's really fucking rude, honestly.

"You could just ask him out, you know. It would be a lot easier to have an answer than pining over some kid five feet away" Ah, Elias. The supposed voice of reason. Even's wing-man extraordinaire. His best friend who's so full of good ideas, maybe he should follow them himself. (Even doesn't appreciate his nosiness, even though he kind of does.)

"I can't just do that and you know it. First of all, what if he's not into guys. Have you seen him? He could snap me in half, Elias. And-and ok, let's say he is. Do you really expect me to believe that someone _that_ beautiful is single? Let me pine in peace."

"Who could you possibly be pining over?" They both look up to see Isak leaning against the counter like he's been doing this past week, taking a swig from his water bottle. He swallows, waggling his eyebrows a little.

"Funny you shou-"

"No one. Antoine Griezmann. Yup."

"Griezmann? Doesn't he...he's married." Even may or may not have found a post comparing Isak to the soccer player. He absolutely will not admit to fantasizing about the boy in cleats and a jersey.

"Oh is he? Smh fake fan, am I right?" Even laughs, until Isak heads back to the weight rack. He rests his forehead against the counter, willing death to take him from his misery.

"Bro. That was rough." Elias pats his back.

"I'm just going to take my break now."

.

Even's at some party, trying to figure out why he lets his friends drag him out when he has no interest in hooking up with anyone that isn't Isak. Of course, it's just his luck that this is the one party that Isak and his friends have decided to crash. He watches him flit from person to person, laughing loud and pretty and Even can't help but feel a little jealous. He wants Isak to laugh with _him._ Smile that cute smile and hold _his_ arm like that.

The night wears on and Even's reached his limit. He'd resigned himself to a spot on the end of a couch, watching Isak drink and Isak smoke and Isak flirt. It's fucking creepy, he knows. But, what's a guy to do, when his potentially straight crush doesn't even acknowledge his presence? And then _it_ happened. If Even thought watching Isak workout was torture, nothing could have prepared him for Isak dancing.

He's got absolutely no rhythm and a drink spilling in his hand and he's the most adorable thing Even's ever seen. Isak is all limbs and funny faces. He makes Even's heart stutter. And you know what? Even, should just do it. Get up and dance with him. What's he going to lose? Maybe Isak will push him away and change his workout schedule, but Even's ok with that. He can deal with the loss. It isn't heartbreak if there was nothing there to begin with.

Who is he kidding? Even is a wimp and would much rather pine from a distance. He sighs, and burrows into the couch, keeping an eye on the boy ahead of him.

Unfortunately, it looks like someone else had the same idea, and a lot more confidence, because some guy is pushing his way into Isak's space. He wants to do something, but it's not his place. Until, Isak starts to pull away from the faceless guy, discomfort clear on his face.

He's not sure what possessed him to do it, but Even's not fully conscious of his actions until he's standing next to Isak, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "Hey babe, looks like you guys are getting a little too comfortable here." He laughs, because clearly that's what one does in these scenarios. Even needs to have a serious talk with himself about his behaviour.

"Even, there you are." He doesn't miss the way Isak lights up when he turns to him. "You didn't dance with me." Even wants to kiss the little pout off his face.

"Uh, am I missing something?" The brute (Even is a dramatic fucker, give him this), looks from Isak to Even, stopping on their linked arms.

"Well, I'm sure my boyfriend made it clear that he doesn't want you all over him, so yeah, I'd say you're missing something." He cowers a little, Even's height finally doing _something_ for him.

"Sorry, man. I'm just gonna… yeah." He heads into the kitchen, and Even feels a little invincible. He just pulled some serious superman shit. Isak trips into his side a bit.

"My hero," Isak giggles, as Even helps him stand. "Hey, Even?" They're still holding onto each other.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna dance with me?" He does, he really _really_ does. But Isak looks dead on his feet and Even wants to tuck him in somewhere.

"You look pretty tired, Isak. How about next time? I'll take you home if you want," Even offers, wanting to spend as much time with him as he would allow.

"You're so nice."

.

Even wakes up with an arm secured around his waist. It's a good arm. Barely visible blond hairs sparsely cover it. A smooth, pale, muscular forearm, with blue-ish veins popping out. It's a really good arm. That's currently snaking under his shirt, cold fingers making him jerk back.

"Jesus, Even, can you chill." Isak's muffled voice comes from somewhere behind him.

"Sorry. Can I just get up? Gotta take a leak." He's not fully human in the morning.

He walks to his bathroom with his eyes partially closed, forcing himself to hurry and get back to Isak.

And. That's new.

Isak?

Even runs back into his room and sure enough, Isak is lying in his bed. It takes him a moment before flashes of the night before come back to him. Walking Isak to his place, only to realize he didn't have keys. The trek to Even's because of course they live a half hour away from each other. Carrying Isak up the stairs. (Not) creepily staring at Isak until sleep took him. It was a good night, in Even's books.

"Do you want me out of here?" Even's heart stutters, and he's so gone for this boy.

"No, no. Stay. I just wanted to know what you want for breakfast." Isak is the cutest in the morning, Even decides. He smiles all pretty (all his smiles are pretty), and cocks his head to the side when he thinks. A little like a kitten. A kitten that Even wants to sit on. (That came out so wrong, Even will be having words with himself.)

"Eggs?"

"I can do that."

.

"And then I hid it in a vase. I swear, I was the absolute worst back then." They're drinking cold coffee in his living room, Isak's feet nestled in Even's lap, a picture of absolute domestic bliss. Even hasn't laughed this much in ages. It's so good.

"You know, my friend told me a similar story. But like, she blackmailed this kid who tried to hide drugs at her friend's house." Isak sits up, nearly dropping his mug.

"No fucking way! You know Sana? Sana Bakkoush? Man, she put me through so much shit. Couldn't ask for a better bud, though." Even's mind reels with this new information. It's a miracle their paths have only just crossed. There's so much connecting them, it's fate.

"You really couldn't. You know she's Elias' sister, right?" Isak settles in close, nearly cuddling into him.

"Elias?" Even's arm is resting on the back of the couch. If he just relaxed his arm, he could pull Isak in.

"We work the same shift most days. Short. Muscular. Nearly bald?" Isak flushes and smiles down at his lap.

"I don't really-you're the only one I notice." _Holy shit, he likes me back._

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Um, did you -"

"I like -"

Even clears his throat and Isak giggles.

"You first." Even's heart is racing. He knows it's going to happen. The man of his dreams, no fuck it, his life, likes him. He likes him back and Even's a giddy mess. (A composed giddy mess.)

"I like you. Or no. I mean, I do. But it feels a little -"

"The word 'like' isn't really enough." Isak grins, and now Even doesn't feel ashamed staring too closely, smiling back just as bright.

"Yeah." Isak breathes and it smells like coffee.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please." Even leans forward, still watching Isak. He would write poetry about this, make movies about this feeling, if he knew the words to describe it. It's cooling and calm and the best thing he's ever felt. It's frantic and frenzied and it's absolutely everything. His runs his fingers through Isak's short, coarse hair, revelling in the spiky tingle in his palm. Isak's hands find their way to his waist, and Even lets himself be pulled onto his lap.

"You're beautiful." Isak doesn't stop kissing him, short little pecks, humming into Even's skin.

"More beautiful than Griezmann?" He's a little shit. Even loves it.

"Oh my god, let that go. I was trying to look cool in front of you. I'm bad at being cool." Even leans into Isak's neck, kissing it softly before nuzzling into it.

"Baby, you're the coolest. Didn't you know, I only date cool guys." Even would swoon if he wasn't pressed into Isak.

"Are you dating me?"

"Well I fucking hope so. I'm so over making a fool of myself in front of gorgeous gym dude."

"My nickname was way better. I called you gym-rat for weeks."

"That's offensive. I go to the gym a decent amount." Even sits back, letting Isak hold him steady.

"If you think two hours a day for most of the week is a decent amount, we can't do this. I'm sorry." Even's a fucking liar. He's never going to let go now that he has the most perfect boy in the world with him.

"Ok, that was overkill. But I'm desperate and you know what, fuck you, I got the guy."

"Shit, me too. I got the best guy." He really did.


End file.
